Chapter V
She was traveling with another person, and they both got
into the same taxi before I could actually even move my feet to approach her. I
had lost my moment, I had frozen. My heartbeat was beating the charts, and I
was frantic. I wanted to go running towards her or call out her name or at
least wanted her to see me waiting for her.
But nothing happened, she got into the taxi and the taxi exited the parking.
Even before I could react. I wanted to shout but I could not utter a sound from
my mouth, I was shouting from within but was no sound came out.
Suddenly, I woke up, lying in a bed, I was covered in sweat, was breathing heavily. Because of the jolt of waking up, I had woken up the person who was sleeping beside me. I wore my glasses and stared at the person beside me, she was a young girl woken up with an abrupt jolt. She was looking at me with her big brown eyes, worried. I calmed her down, told her everything was alright and asked to sleep calmly. I stood up from the bed, realizing it was her room. Walked towards the door, she called out with her sweet voice, “Dad! Please leave the door a little open!” I looked back as I left the room and smiled, and said “Don’t Worry Cashew! I am just in the next room.” I walked towards the drawing room, where she was sitting, it felt like from the dream she had appeared right in front of me. By the fireplace, even though she was still with me, I still used to get nightmares about the days from my past. She was reading a book, sitting in the warmth of crackling wood. Who is she I thought, is she the person I met in my college, or is she the person who got into that taxi that day or is she somebody else altogether. Is it fate or is it some supernatural power that decides for us, or we are here all by ourselves. Did I end up here because of the way I took decisions, or was it all already decided for me?
Suddenly, I woke up, lying in a bed, I was covered in sweat, was breathing heavily. Because of the jolt of waking up, I had woken up the person who was sleeping beside me. I wore my glasses and stared at the person beside me, she was a young girl woken up with an abrupt jolt. She was looking at me with her big brown eyes, worried. I calmed her down, told her everything was alright and asked to sleep calmly. I stood up from the bed, realizing it was her room. Walked towards the door, she called out with her sweet voice, “Dad! Please leave the door a little open!” I looked back as I left the room and smiled, and said “Don’t Worry Cashew! I am just in the next room.” I walked towards the drawing room, where she was sitting, it felt like from the dream she had appeared right in front of me. By the fireplace, even though she was still with me, I still used to get nightmares about the days from my past. She was reading a book, sitting in the warmth of crackling wood. Who is she I thought, is she the person I met in my college, or is she the person who got into that taxi that day or is she somebody else altogether. Is it fate or is it some supernatural power that decides for us, or we are here all by ourselves. Did I end up here because of the way I took decisions, or was it all already decided for me?
If fate has everything written, then emotions like fear,
should have no space in our psyche. Everything is playing its part. Why fear
when what you are fearing is going to happen no matter how you feel, if it is
written. All the happy moments as well as moments of sorrow are already lined
up, all we can do is just wait for them to happen. Somehow it gives me a very
robotic feeling. All we are in existence for is playing our part, according to
what fate has decided for us. Isn't that really anti-climax, cause everything
is already decided for us, all we are going to do is play the role of an actor?
On the contrary if there is a supernatural being, everybody calls him/her by
different names, hasn't he or she made this world really cruel. Why does the being
with the power to control almost everything, allow so many catastrophes,
tragedies, natural calamities to occur. If you answer this as karma, then with
the amount of tragedies surrounding us, there is a lot of bad karma being done.
Why doesn't the being control that? Or are we all alone.
Note: This is the memoir of a brain, which thinks and
imagines a lot of things. It is memoir wherein a lot of it is the truth of what
really happened mixed with imagination. Now how much of it is reality, you will
have to read between the lines for yourself. A human brain interprets each word
exactly the way it would want it to mean. Sometimes it becomes difficult to
actually understand what the words mean, so we attach our own meanings with
these symbols. This is a memoir of a brain, which has connected meanings with things,
which happened over time, and will cover a man’s dream, reality and
imagination.
